Communication is the cornerstone of any successful relationship, and as much as it uplifts and encourages openness and honesty, both of which are favorable components of a lover to lover rapport, it can be equally as venomous. Feed off these quick and effective tips you can incorporate in your relationship approach.
* Make time ... yes, an actual appointment with each other. If you live together, put the cell phones on vibrate, put the kids to bed, and let the answering machine pick up your calls.
* If you can't "communicate" without raising your voices, go to a public spot like the library, park, or restaurant, where you'd be embarrassed if anyone saw you screaming.
* Set up some rules ... like not interrupting until the other is through, banning phrases such as "You always ..." or "You never ..."
* Remember that a large part of communication is listening, so be sure your body language reflects that. That means, don't doodle, look at your watch, pick at your nails, etc. Nod so the other person knows you're getting the message and rephrase if necessary, such as, "What I hear you saying is that you feel as though you have more chores at home, even though we're both working." If you're right, the other can confirm, and if what the other person really meant was, hey, you're a slob and you create more work for me by having to pick up after you, perhaps they'll say so but in a nicer way.
